Speculoos Cookie Butter.

They say that smell has the strongest tie to memory.  I agree.  A smell will take me back to a person or a time period in my life, but my feelings are not affected with smell. I think that the strongest ties to feelings are places and songs.  My memories are bitter-sweet.  I have such an amazing life story that I feel blessed to have, but when I truly reminisce about the places I've lived throughout my life, I feel bad feelings.  I have wanted to run away to California since I can remember. I like to keep things new in my life, for the most part.  I like change.  I like moving.  I love new places to explore. Suitcases. Airports.  New songs on my playlist, etc… Even places that I felt I would look back on and feel a happy feeling, like Perth, my home in Australia;  I think back to it and stop myself because it doesn’t “feel good.”  I don’t have any desire to go back to Colorado.  I don’t even have a desire to go back to Perth.  I love these places for the amazing memories they gave me, but I find myself wanting to avoid the songs I heard while I lived there. What is it that ties these feelings to these places, and how can I stop them from getting tied to the things that I love?!  “I love that song, but it gives me bad feelings. So I can’t listen to it.”  “I love that place- it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived! I have so many great memories, but it gives me bad feelings.”  I drive myself crazy trying to figure myself out.  As far as I can tell, though, I haven’t tied any “bad feelings” to San Diego, and I am going to try and keep it that way.   I hope that I can create a place finally that I don’t want to run away from. 

On a sweeter note, these are my two new favorite discoveries from Trader Joe's! 

(One of my favorite perks of living in Cali)

Seriously, cookie butter? Genius!