They say that smell has the strongest tie to memory. I agree. A smell will take me back to a person or a time period in my life, but my feelings are not affected with smell. I think that the strongest ties to feelings are places and songs. My memories are bitter-sweet. I have such an amazing life story that I feel blessed to have, but when I truly reminisce about the places I've lived throughout my life, I feel bad feelings. I have wanted to run away to California since I can remember. I like to keep things new in my life, for the most part. I like change. I like moving. I love new places to explore. Suitcases. Airports. New songs on my playlist, etc… Even places that I felt I would look back on and feel a happy feeling, like Perth, my home in Australia; I think back to it and stop myself because it doesn’t “feel good.” I don’t have any desire to go back to Colorado. I don’t even have a desire to go back to Perth. I love these places for the amazing memories they gave me, but I find myself wanting to avoid the songs I heard while I lived there. What is it that ties these feelings to these places, and how can I stop them from getting tied to the things that I love?! “I love that song, but it gives me bad feelings. So I can’t listen to it.” “I love that place- it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived! I have so many great memories, but it gives me bad feelings.” I drive myself crazy trying to figure myself out. As far as I can tell, though, I haven’t tied any “bad feelings” to San Diego, and I am going to try and keep it that way. I hope that I can create a place finally that I don’t want to run away from.
On a sweeter note, these are my two new favorite discoveries from Trader Joe's!
(One of my favorite perks of living in Cali)
Seriously, cookie butter? Genius!