Speculoos Cookie Butter.

They say that smell has the strongest tie to memory.  I agree.  A smell will take me back to a person or a time period in my life, but my feelings are not affected with smell. I think that the strongest ties to feelings are places and songs.  My memories are bitter-sweet.  I have such an amazing life story that I feel blessed to have, but when I truly reminisce about the places I've lived throughout my life, I feel bad feelings.  I have wanted to run away to California since I can remember. I like to keep things new in my life, for the most part.  I like change.  I like moving.  I love new places to explore. Suitcases. Airports.  New songs on my playlist, etc… Even places that I felt I would look back on and feel a happy feeling, like Perth, my home in Australia;  I think back to it and stop myself because it doesn’t “feel good.”  I don’t have any desire to go back to Colorado.  I don’t even have a desire to go back to Perth.  I love these places for the amazing memories they gave me, but I find myself wanting to avoid the songs I heard while I lived there. What is it that ties these feelings to these places, and how can I stop them from getting tied to the things that I love?!  “I love that song, but it gives me bad feelings. So I can’t listen to it.”  “I love that place- it was the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived! I have so many great memories, but it gives me bad feelings.”  I drive myself crazy trying to figure myself out.  As far as I can tell, though, I haven’t tied any “bad feelings” to San Diego, and I am going to try and keep it that way.   I hope that I can create a place finally that I don’t want to run away from. 

On a sweeter note, these are my two new favorite discoveries from Trader Joe's! 
(One of my favorite perks of living in Cali)
Seriously, cookie butter? Genius!


  1. Speculoos cookie butter is the best thing after Nutella!!!

  2. So jealous! I love trader joe's! haven't tried the cookie butter though...wanna send me some to Florida? ;)


  3. How did I not know that TJ's had cookie butter! That sounds frickin' delicious!

  4. AnonymousMay 26, 2012

    I feel it is part maturity that allows us to feel OK about something from the past, yet move forward without allowing it to affect us. To be able to say, "so what, God is so much bigger than my small negative memories." Let it empower us rather than control us.


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