Paradise Lost.

{via something else by natalie wood}

Keeping my balance is a struggle sometimes.  Being happy is that place where everything is in balance: Mind, Body & Heart.  

I've reached what I have felt to be my happiest in Australia, twice.  First, was about 2 weeks into my trip in Sydney,  I made an insta-best-friend and was going on dates every day, sightseeing, running across the Harbour Bridge, going to festivals and games. I had felt completely happy with everything in my life. I was falling in love with Australia which I thought was all contained in Sydney.  I thought the rest of my life I would feel that way, perfectly lighthearted and joyful.  Yes, I was wrong about how easily that balance can be thrown.  Looking back on it, I don't even think that was true happiness; I think it was being disguised by uber-amazing distractions & attractions.

Then, I found my balance again in small hippy town that I bet you couldn't find on the map called Bellingen.  It was surrounded by rainforest, aboriginal-claimed healing rivers, & meadows.  I started eating gluten free and drinking tea all the time, went for hikes in the rainforest, lived outside with a net above my bed, kayaking under full moons, and floated down the rivers on inner-tubes.  I remember getting into a zen-like place of happiness, like a non-stop meditative state.  Then, I jumped out of an airplane and it all disappeared when I hit the ground.

It reminds me of Eat, Pray, Love, when she finds such an amazing happiness and balance in Rome and then she goes to India to 'meditate' and can't find peace.  It was like all her hard work had gone to waste, and here she was in the 'center of peace' and couldn't find it.  That's how I feel now that I am here in Perth.  In some ways it feels like I'm starting all over again, being on my own trying to discover what I love.  I am constantly working on keeping my life balanced between work, play, body & mind.  Right now I am very much un-balanced, placing too much importance on working too much and worrying.  I'll let you know how I get back in balance... I am determined to!