Letting Go.

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Life is full of changes, some of which we welcome and some of which we fear.  Everyone has their list of fears, although each is unique based on individual circumstances and personality.

For example,

I embrace change, adrenaline rushes, and writing.

I fear speaking in public, commitments, and making mistakes.

While my fears might be your strengths and my strengths might be your fears, it all comes down to letting go.   It’s time to overcome it and live the free life that was meant to be yours.

I live my life challenging my fears.  Whenever I get to a place in my life where I feel stagnant, I take a look at what scares me, and I do it.  This allows me to constantly live a life fearlessly and embrace freedom from the bondage of my fears.

I’m going to admit something, though: It is hard, even for me – someone who loves change, adventure, and a good adrenaline rush.  Every time I face a time in my life where the waves calm and I’m left staring straight into the eyes of the shark, it is scary as hell.  I feel the surge of fear and doubt bubbling up deep in my soul.  I feel weak, shaky, and faint.  It’s a terrible feeling, and we all know it all too well.

So, how do I overcome these fears?  Well, the best way I’ve found is to dive into the deep end.  This can be dangerous, but this has given me a life free of regrets.

• See locals jumping off a 50-foot cliff into the ocean?  Jump.
• Stuck in a toxic or abusive relationship?  Break up.
• Scared of driving on the other side of the road? Get in the drivers seat and go.
• Stuck in a 9 to 5 job and see it going nowhere? Quit.
• Afraid of speaking in public?  Plan an event and speak.

In each occasion, I have had support in my decision.  I have someone standing next to me, someone who I trust, counting.  1, 2, 3… Jump.  I couldn’t do it without that person.  When facing your fears, you must not go about it alone.  Instead, bring people who support your decision to the starting line and let them count for you when the numbers just won’t come out.  Then, make up your mind that however you feel at that moment after 3, you will follow through.  You will fully let go of your fear and embrace the new.

Obviously, you must be wise in your decision making, but this kind of living will open you up to new experiences and a life that you’ve always dreamed of.   If I had passed these fear-injected opportunities by, I would have something way worse than fear: Regret.

I think that’s probably the dirtiest word in my mental dictionary.  Regret.  It even sounds nasty.

I have a life motto, which you may have seen here or there.   It says,

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving, safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways with wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, shouting ‘WooHoo! What a ride!’”

I’d pretty much say that quote sums up living your life to the fullest, and is the very antithesis of regret.

While my intentions have shifted from selfish to God-given desires as I’ve matured, I still adhere to this concept because I believe that God wants me to enjoy my life.  A lot of Christians take the enjoyment part out of their relationship with God, even though that is his ultimate gift, isn’t it?  To enjoy his creation, the people we love, and, ultimately, Him?

I’m still afraid of speaking in public, but I know that my support system, my friends and family, will all be there counting me down to the moment when I jump swiftly into the unknown, letting completely go of all I know to be true, and let God unfold his plans for me.

Letting go is often required for you to move forward in your life.  I challenge you, if you feel that you’ve become complacent and safe, to take a look at your fears and decide to let them go, one by one.  Each fear is holding you back from your true potential.  Each time you let a fear go, no matter how small, you will gain strength.

Sometimes we fear our dreams, but I’d like to encourage you to challenge that thought and pursue you dreams.  Sweep each fear away like the insignificant reality that they truly are.

Soon enough, you will find that you are living a life of freedom, and feeling more alive than ever before!

I challenge myself, as well.

Challenge accepted.

Now, let's all sing together... Let it go, let it go...

Goodie Goodie Gum Drops.

I made it to New Zealand, and I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised!  My flight in was like a dream... Think of the most luscious, green hills, surrounded by bright blue tropical waters, fluffy pink clouds and the most gorgeous sunrise you've ever seen.

Here are a few interesting things I've learned in my two days here:

• Goodie Goodie Gum Drop Ice Cream is ah-mazing.  It's bubble gum flavored and literally has gumdrops in it!
• You can ask McDonalds (aka: Maccas) to actually "steam" your buns.
• Fish and chips are pronounce "Fush and Chups," and it is very Kiwi to eat it out on the beach.
• "Flat out" means really busy, as in "We've been flat out."
• "Puku" is Māori for bloated stomach.
• Switching driving sides is really fun and surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be.
• The cross walk signs actually have a picture of a man walking... so cool.
• "La-de-da" means fancy, as in "That place is really la-de-da."
• Kiwi birds only come out at night. Also, they are blind, endangered, and flightless.
• It is super green here, but the reason is because it rains alot.  I guess I should've expected that.
• The Sky Tower changes colors during the year to raise awareness for different causes.  This month it is pink for breast cancer awareness month.  It's also 1,076 feet tall, which is taller than the Eiffel Tower.

Seize Your Day.

Photo Source: WeHeartIt

The Kaizen Approach

Kaizen: Continuous Small Improvements

Kaizen is the Japanese word for ‘improvement’. This concept was first developed in Japan by the US teams who came in to help restructure the economy after WWII and a notable champion of the approach was Dr W. Edwards Deming.

The Kaizen approach is now normally used to describe continuous small improvements in any area, including personal development where it especially useful since well-intentioned but major life improvement revolutions tend to be short-lived.

The perils of the Brand New Start

Have you ever made a major Brand New Start in your life? You began a serious and strenuous exercise programme? You went on a diet that was going to return your shape to how it was 20 years ago?

Or your new start involved changing from its opposite to being very tidy, efficient and productive – or very sociable?

Or you decided to fully commit to a new hobby and bought loads of gear for it – without really assessing how satisfying it was going to be for you?

…only to discover, a relatively short time later, that you’d given up and gone back to the old ways?

Well, that’s one argument for making continuous small improvements. Try to change too much, all at once, and a part of you rebels – and quickly gets you back to normal! Or the people around you ‘rebel’ because they don’t like the effect your New Start is having on them.

Whatever the reasons for this common phenomenon – and there are many – it’s a good argument for Kaizen, for improving in small continuous steps.

Being more positive

If you try to ‘be more positive’ about everything the realistic side of your nature will soon undermine your new start.

But if you decide you’ll take a more positive attitude towards, say traffic hold-ups, and you’ll find after a few weeks that it’s taken hold.

How do you apply the Kaizen approach?

1. Plan: Prepare the evening before – choose your topic or behaviour. Plan how you will integrate it into your day.
2. Visualise: Take a few moments in first thing the morning to mentally plan and visualise the day ahead. If you’re very rushed in the morning you can do this while washing, shaving, putting on make-up, or preparing your hair.
3. Set up reminders: the events of the day will soon put all thoughts of your new resolution out of your head – unless your prepare for this. Mentally set up ‘milestones’ that will remind you of your project – such as whenever you turn the ignition key in the car, whenever you replace the phone on the cradle,  whenever you visit the toilet, etc. Use these moments to consider and re-visualise your project.
4. Re-view the day: take a few moments when you are finished your working day and review how things went. If you completely forgot about your project what can you learn from that – and apply to tomorrow’s plan? This is the essential ingredient of Kaizen – continually learning from your experience.

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The Space Between.

How do you define Joy?

I came across this article on Huffpost Healthy Living, and it caught my attention.  Huffington Post asked their readers on Facebook how they define "Joy" in their lives, and these were their favorite responses:

Joy is...

"Love." -- Caterina Jeffcote

"Being able to feel peaceful even within the ups and downs of life." -- Angela Henson

"My family, my friends, my bike & nature." -- Emma Woodcock

"Living fully in the moment." -- Dawn Gluskin

"The sound of my children laughing." -- Teresa Jeannette Miller

"Coming home to my wife and kids." -- Ian Bradley

"The complete feeling of 'oneness' with the Universe." -- N'ancy J'aime du N'iepokoj

"Being in the moment of pure happiness." -- Marsha Wheatley

"Harvesting my veggies and cutting some blooms for my bedroom and living room." -- Visitacion Rallis

"Family!" -- Donna Moore Bunning

"Grandchildren!" -- Cynthia Hopper

"Me and my six year old going higher and higher on our trampoline!" -- Christine Horny

"God's presence, and the love of my family and cats." -- Gina Wilkinson-Montague

"Sunshine + good friends." -- Saskia Rea

"Feeling light & bright." -- Emna Nouri

"Being in love." -- Evy Maarawi

How do you define "Joy" in your life?

Live The Life.

Monday Morning Coffee.

 

One of the best things you can do to shift your perspective  and create an empowering relationship to your process of setting goals for this year is to understand some key distinctions: intentions, goals and actions.

• Intentions: Your intentions are states of being and authentic desires. In other words, you may have an intention to be peaceful, grateful, joyous, loving, successful, healthy or wealthy. Your intentions are your high ideals and are usually at the root of your motivation for any of your specific goals. Most people don't really want goals like a new relationship, more money or a fit body simply for the sake of those things themselves. You want them because of what you believe you will experience by having them in your life. By starting with your intentions, you get right to the source of what you truly want. Intentions are the core and the magic of all of your goals and desires.

• Goals: Effective and powerful goals are ones that are specific and measurable. You want to be able to track your progress and know for sure if you are reaching your goals or not. This doesn't have to be a competition (with others or yourself) and doesn't have to be filled with stress, pressure, shame or guilt. Having your goals as specific and measurable just makes them clear and more likely to manifest. And, the paradox you have to always remember when setting and working on your goals is that you can't be attached to the outcome—it will make you crazy and take you off course from your real intentions. Your goals simply take your intentions and focus them on tangible outcomes in the world.

• Actions: Creating action-oriented practices that support manifesting your goals and intentions is an essential daily, weekly and monthly process of your success and fulfillment. Coming up with action plans that inspire you, connect to the goals you're working on and fulfill your intentions is vital to all of this. This is where the rubber meets the road and is often the place where things break down. The breakdown of actions usually has more to do with a lack of support and accountability (which then allows you to let life take over and lose your focus) than it does with any failure or weakness on your part. Having practices that help you take the baby steps needed to manifest your goals and intentions is such an important piece of puzzle.

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Are You Letting Your Happiness Get Away?

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “She is so happy all the time! I bet her life is perfect!” I know that I have.  If you could peek into their real lives, though, you would probably find that they struggle with similar issues that you do.  However, the way they approach life is different.  You’d find that they are not happy because they are given all the right cards, they are happy because they make themselves happy.   They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.  It’s one thing to talk about it and another to actually get in the habit of it. 

3 Habits of Highly Happy People:

• Forgive.  Happy people understand that holding grudges within their hearts actually causes dissatisfaction in life.  Why would you want to let someone who wronged you make your life miserable?  Forgive them and don’t let your negative feelings toward them crowd out your positive feelings.  If you get rid of all that junk in your heart that’s full of grudgery and anger, imagine how much more space you'd have to be filled with happiness. Let it out. Forgive, Forget, and let the sunshine in!

• To-Do Today:  Think of someone you haven’t been able to forgive and write them a letter apologizing (yes, you apologizing to them), and release your feelings of resentment and bitterness. Now take a deep breath and breathe in something positive!

• Dream.  Don’t just dream, dream big!  Why is it important to dream big? Big Dreams Come True!  Big things can happen to you if you can just find the courage to pursue them.  You don’t know until you ask.  Sometimes you need to ask big in order to really get something accomplished.  It may be a risk, but it is worth the chance! The best part about dreaming big is that it’s a win, win.  Even if you fall short, you will still gain a lot from trying. 
• To-Do Today:  Write down your biggest dream.  Don’t be ashamed.  Write it nice and big and just sit there imagining yourself in that dream.  What does it feel like?  Hold onto that feeling whenever you are feeling down and remind yourself of that dream daily.

• Absorb the Present.  Happy people do not dwell on the past or worry about the future, they savor the present.  Get immersed in what you are doing when you are doing it.  Tomorrow will worry about itself, so you don’t need to.  Take notice of the world.  Think of your  5 senses and focus on them.  Find ways to make other people smile in the moment.  Be sensitive to the positive impact you can make in your day to day life. Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. 
• To-Do Today:  Choose at least one day a week to turn off your cell phone, computer, radio in your car, TV, etc… Spend that day riding your bike to a café, having a friend over for tea, drawing something you see out the window, cooking yourself something to eat and savoring every bite,  or exploring a new area of your town or city. 

Be thankful for what is.  Whenever you find yourself wishing for someone else’s life or for something you don’t have, remember the potential that is in your own life.  Write a list of what you are thankful for right now.  Don’t miss the beauty and gifts right in front of you.  Change your What IFs into What IS.   If you are thankful for what is, you’ll be happy in the moment instead of wishing your life away.

Simplify Your Life

As it comes, Spring brings motivation to simplify with it.  Spring cleaning.  Dead trees growing blooms.  The sun warming up the earth, as it welcomes newness into its rays. We shed off layers of coats and get ready to show off our bodies for “bikini-season.”  

Coming out of hibernation, our thoughts get clearer and we crave organization.   Perhaps that is why this year, all I can think about is shedding my negative thought patterns and beginning anew.  The thing is, I didn’t need to wait for spring.  God was there all along, just waiting for me to take him up on his offer.  “His mercies begin afresh each day,” Lam. 3:23.  When we feel hopeless and stressed and covered in negative thoughts and feelings, He is there every morning, wanting to give us rest.  A simple step towards him will breathe new life into you.   This world just wears us out and wants to see us torn down, but God wants to make us light! He doesn’t want us to feel tired and worn out all the time.  Instead, He wants to cut off the chains that hold us down.  I imagine myself just radiating joy and feeling light beaming from me.  Where there is light, darkness cannot be.  I don’t want to go around this world looking dark, bringing darkness to those around me.  I want to shine!  But, first, I need to give these extra layers of negativity and stress to God and embrace the freedom that is offered to me every day, every morning. 

Here are some of my suggestions to Simplify Your Life:

1. Give Up One Thing.  Don't over-commit yourself.  Even if you are committed to all great things, if  you are over-committed, you will lose the whole point of doing those good things. So, every week, try and give up one new thing.  For example, I have given up my Wednesday night commitments to church, in order to give myself rest half way through the week.  You can also give up thought patterns or overindulgence in anything.  Rush less, breathe more.  Do less, relax more.  Complain less, listen more.
2. Take Control of Your Time. Try getting up an hour earlier.  Shut off distractions.  Delegate what you can.  Do more of what you love to do and less of what you don’t enjoy.  Make a list.  I like to use Trello to manage my time and prioritize. 
3. Turn “I have to” into “I get to.”  Instead of focusing on what you “have to” do, focus those thoughts on what you “get to” do.  Instead of thinking, “I have to work,” think “I get this opportunity to make money, so I can go to New Zealand.”  It makes everything so much better.  Instead of thinking, “I have to go to that expensive place for dinner tonight,” think, “I get to spend quality time with my favorite people and eat amazing food tonight!”  Just by changing that one word will take you from feeling dread and obligation to feeling privileged and grateful.  
4. Be willing to change. Don’t change out of correction but out of preference and desire.  We often want our lives to be different but aren’t willing to do what it takes.  If you take a small step forward everyday, you can change in big ways.  Focus on the desire you have and the quality of life that you will have if you take these small “penguin” steps every day.  As long as you are making steady progress towards them, you will know that you are taking control of life rather than letting the days pass you by. 
5. Don’t beat yourself up.  Be nice to yourself.  Treat yourself as you want others to treat you.  Smile at yourself in the mirror.  Think well of yourself.  Find three things to congratulate yourself for everyday.  Free your mind from the past and forgive yourself.