All Work, All Play.

I haven’t written in ages, and it’s actually been really nice because it became a job to me.   Don’t get me wrong.... I loved my job.  I just couldn’t write all day for work and then come home and write to relax.  It just doesn’t work that way no matter what profession you're in or how much you love what you do.

I have always been all work or all play.  I just can’t seem to achieve the two simultaneously for too long.  These past 3 months have gone by in a blur, and that is not how I want to live my life.  I know that there are times in life when you really just need to “buckle down” and “give it all that you’ve got,” but I am ready to learn to live again.  I don’t want to go crazy and leave my job behind or anything, but I am ready to regain a bit of control in my time and how I use it.

So, here's what I did:  I wrote two lists.

One list is all the things that I have to do.  On the other list is all the things that I want to do.

It’s actually surprising how many things were on both lists and the things I came up with when I wasn’t limited to the words “have to.”

It turns out I really do care about a lot of the things on my Have-to list, and that makes me feel happier already just knowing that.   Realizing a list item as something that is driven by desire and not only out of obligation is already a win for me.   Then, there were some really random things I came up with on my Want-to list.  It was fun to feel free and unrestricted from the voices of everyone else and what they think I should do and to finally listen to what I want to do for a change.

I’ve learned in my life that it doesn’t take a huge undertaking to achieve a goal.  All it takes is putting pen to paper and articulating what it is you want.  Once you know what you want (which is the hardest part), the rest will follow naturally as you take small steps to achieve it. 

What do I want?  

Apparently I want to jump on a plane to Thailand and ride an elephant.  I didn’t even know that was even floating around in my head until I wrote it down, but now I have something to take action towards and hopefully one day I will ride that elephant and feel fulfilled in some way or another because I did something that I wanted to do.

A few other things I wrote down…

• To fly away to Thailand and ride an elephant
• To write in my blog (see! it’s already working)
• To take more pictures of New Zealand
• Spend more time at a local pub hanging out with friends
• Have more alone time with God
• Sleep in on the weekends and not feel guilty
• Talk with my family and friends back home more
• Be a better friend
• To feel healthy physically
• To have beautiful clothes that make me feel pretty
• To feel successful at work but also able to leave at 5
• Do yoga routinely – body/mind balance
• Learn how to make delicious, healthy meals
• Play piano
• Write a book
• Help my daddy with his book
• Help mommy with her business
• To feel “at home” somewhere
• Spend the summer in the burger truck
• Explore more of New Zealand

Here’s to our wishes, dreams, and goals! That we may realize their superiority in our thoughts and to treat them with the attention that they deserve.

Letting Go.

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Life is full of changes, some of which we welcome and some of which we fear.  Everyone has their list of fears, although each is unique based on individual circumstances and personality.

For example,

I embrace change, adrenaline rushes, and writing.

I fear speaking in public, commitments, and making mistakes.

While my fears might be your strengths and my strengths might be your fears, it all comes down to letting go.   It’s time to overcome it and live the free life that was meant to be yours.

I live my life challenging my fears.  Whenever I get to a place in my life where I feel stagnant, I take a look at what scares me, and I do it.  This allows me to constantly live a life fearlessly and embrace freedom from the bondage of my fears.

I’m going to admit something, though: It is hard, even for me – someone who loves change, adventure, and a good adrenaline rush.  Every time I face a time in my life where the waves calm and I’m left staring straight into the eyes of the shark, it is scary as hell.  I feel the surge of fear and doubt bubbling up deep in my soul.  I feel weak, shaky, and faint.  It’s a terrible feeling, and we all know it all too well.

So, how do I overcome these fears?  Well, the best way I’ve found is to dive into the deep end.  This can be dangerous, but this has given me a life free of regrets.

• See locals jumping off a 50-foot cliff into the ocean?  Jump.
• Stuck in a toxic or abusive relationship?  Break up.
• Scared of driving on the other side of the road? Get in the drivers seat and go.
• Stuck in a 9 to 5 job and see it going nowhere? Quit.
• Afraid of speaking in public?  Plan an event and speak.

In each occasion, I have had support in my decision.  I have someone standing next to me, someone who I trust, counting.  1, 2, 3… Jump.  I couldn’t do it without that person.  When facing your fears, you must not go about it alone.  Instead, bring people who support your decision to the starting line and let them count for you when the numbers just won’t come out.  Then, make up your mind that however you feel at that moment after 3, you will follow through.  You will fully let go of your fear and embrace the new.

Obviously, you must be wise in your decision making, but this kind of living will open you up to new experiences and a life that you’ve always dreamed of.   If I had passed these fear-injected opportunities by, I would have something way worse than fear: Regret.

I think that’s probably the dirtiest word in my mental dictionary.  Regret.  It even sounds nasty.

I have a life motto, which you may have seen here or there.   It says,

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving, safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways with wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, shouting ‘WooHoo! What a ride!’”

I’d pretty much say that quote sums up living your life to the fullest, and is the very antithesis of regret.

While my intentions have shifted from selfish to God-given desires as I’ve matured, I still adhere to this concept because I believe that God wants me to enjoy my life.  A lot of Christians take the enjoyment part out of their relationship with God, even though that is his ultimate gift, isn’t it?  To enjoy his creation, the people we love, and, ultimately, Him?

I’m still afraid of speaking in public, but I know that my support system, my friends and family, will all be there counting me down to the moment when I jump swiftly into the unknown, letting completely go of all I know to be true, and let God unfold his plans for me.

Letting go is often required for you to move forward in your life.  I challenge you, if you feel that you’ve become complacent and safe, to take a look at your fears and decide to let them go, one by one.  Each fear is holding you back from your true potential.  Each time you let a fear go, no matter how small, you will gain strength.

Sometimes we fear our dreams, but I’d like to encourage you to challenge that thought and pursue you dreams.  Sweep each fear away like the insignificant reality that they truly are.

Soon enough, you will find that you are living a life of freedom, and feeling more alive than ever before!

I challenge myself, as well.

Challenge accepted.

Now, let's all sing together... Let it go, let it go...

Seize Your Day.

Photo Source: WeHeartIt

The Kaizen Approach

Kaizen: Continuous Small Improvements

Kaizen is the Japanese word for ‘improvement’. This concept was first developed in Japan by the US teams who came in to help restructure the economy after WWII and a notable champion of the approach was Dr W. Edwards Deming.

The Kaizen approach is now normally used to describe continuous small improvements in any area, including personal development where it especially useful since well-intentioned but major life improvement revolutions tend to be short-lived.

The perils of the Brand New Start

Have you ever made a major Brand New Start in your life? You began a serious and strenuous exercise programme? You went on a diet that was going to return your shape to how it was 20 years ago?

Or your new start involved changing from its opposite to being very tidy, efficient and productive – or very sociable?

Or you decided to fully commit to a new hobby and bought loads of gear for it – without really assessing how satisfying it was going to be for you?

…only to discover, a relatively short time later, that you’d given up and gone back to the old ways?

Well, that’s one argument for making continuous small improvements. Try to change too much, all at once, and a part of you rebels – and quickly gets you back to normal! Or the people around you ‘rebel’ because they don’t like the effect your New Start is having on them.

Whatever the reasons for this common phenomenon – and there are many – it’s a good argument for Kaizen, for improving in small continuous steps.

Being more positive

If you try to ‘be more positive’ about everything the realistic side of your nature will soon undermine your new start.

But if you decide you’ll take a more positive attitude towards, say traffic hold-ups, and you’ll find after a few weeks that it’s taken hold.

How do you apply the Kaizen approach?

1. Plan: Prepare the evening before – choose your topic or behaviour. Plan how you will integrate it into your day.
2. Visualise: Take a few moments in first thing the morning to mentally plan and visualise the day ahead. If you’re very rushed in the morning you can do this while washing, shaving, putting on make-up, or preparing your hair.
3. Set up reminders: the events of the day will soon put all thoughts of your new resolution out of your head – unless your prepare for this. Mentally set up ‘milestones’ that will remind you of your project – such as whenever you turn the ignition key in the car, whenever you replace the phone on the cradle,  whenever you visit the toilet, etc. Use these moments to consider and re-visualise your project.
4. Re-view the day: take a few moments when you are finished your working day and review how things went. If you completely forgot about your project what can you learn from that – and apply to tomorrow’s plan? This is the essential ingredient of Kaizen – continually learning from your experience.

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The Space Between.

I Forgot My Phone.

This video that depicts our reliance on our phones and how we are missing the quality of life that we once knew.  It's a great reminder to spend more time enjoying and being in the moment and less checking Facebook and Instagram.

Living a Focused Life.

Knowing your purpose focuses your life.  It concentrates your effort and energy on what’s important.  You become effective by being selective. 

It’s human nature to get distracted by minor issues.  Henry David Thoreau observed that people live lives of “quiet desperation,” but today a better description is aimless distraction. 

Without a clear purpose, you will keep changing directions, jobs, relationship, church, or other externals- hoping each change will settle the confusion or fill the emptiness in your heart.  You think, Maybe this time it will be different, but it doesn’t solve your real problem - a lack of focus and purpose. 

The power of focusing can be seen in light. Diffused light has little power or impact, but you can concentrate its energy by focusing it. With a magnifying glass, the rays of the sun can be focused to set grass or paper on fire.  When light is focused even more as a laser beam, it can cut through steel. 

There is nothing quite as potent as a focused life, one living on purpose. 

“I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,” The Apostle Paul.

If you want your life to have impact, focus it! Stop dabbling.  Stop trying to do it all. Do less. Prune away even good activities and do only that which matters most. 

Excerpt from The Purpose Driven Life

Monday Morning Coffee.

 

One of the best things you can do to shift your perspective  and create an empowering relationship to your process of setting goals for this year is to understand some key distinctions: intentions, goals and actions.

• Intentions: Your intentions are states of being and authentic desires. In other words, you may have an intention to be peaceful, grateful, joyous, loving, successful, healthy or wealthy. Your intentions are your high ideals and are usually at the root of your motivation for any of your specific goals. Most people don't really want goals like a new relationship, more money or a fit body simply for the sake of those things themselves. You want them because of what you believe you will experience by having them in your life. By starting with your intentions, you get right to the source of what you truly want. Intentions are the core and the magic of all of your goals and desires.

• Goals: Effective and powerful goals are ones that are specific and measurable. You want to be able to track your progress and know for sure if you are reaching your goals or not. This doesn't have to be a competition (with others or yourself) and doesn't have to be filled with stress, pressure, shame or guilt. Having your goals as specific and measurable just makes them clear and more likely to manifest. And, the paradox you have to always remember when setting and working on your goals is that you can't be attached to the outcome—it will make you crazy and take you off course from your real intentions. Your goals simply take your intentions and focus them on tangible outcomes in the world.

• Actions: Creating action-oriented practices that support manifesting your goals and intentions is an essential daily, weekly and monthly process of your success and fulfillment. Coming up with action plans that inspire you, connect to the goals you're working on and fulfill your intentions is vital to all of this. This is where the rubber meets the road and is often the place where things break down. The breakdown of actions usually has more to do with a lack of support and accountability (which then allows you to let life take over and lose your focus) than it does with any failure or weakness on your part. Having practices that help you take the baby steps needed to manifest your goals and intentions is such an important piece of puzzle.

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Live The Dash.

I have always been independent.  I like being in control of where I live, what I do, what I eat, when I go, and who I am with.  I like creating goals and planning the steps to achieve them.   I am an idealist, meaning that I tend to look towards the future and have an optimistic viewpoint.  We all want good things to happen in our lives, but sometimes it feels like it’s just taking too long!  I have been in that state of impatience lately, but I am coming to realize that it is a direct result of me not trusting God’s plan for my life. 

Wait with Patience

I am so worried about what is next and action planning that I am missing the point of it all.  Impatience and worry drain us of peace and joy.  I want so badly to know what the plan for my life is, so that I can have something to work towards.  I want to know my purpose!  But right now, he just wants me to wait, and that is the toughest challenge of all.  It’s not hard because I don’t trust that God has the best plans for me, but because I am human and I just want to know what the future holds.  At this moment, I guess I’m not supposed to know, but I have faith that the knowledge will come when the time is right. 

Start Living

It is time to start living again and stop being impatient for the “next thing.”  If we always live in the land of “when I…” or “if only…” we miss out on so much around us.  I want to make a conscious effort to maximize my time in the moment.   We all have to wait at certain points in our lives.  The question is, how do we wait?  We can either wait with impatience by just making the time pass, or we can make the most of the in-betweens.  

In the Dash

I recently read a poem called “The Dash” which really struck a cord in me.  What will really matter in the end, when all is said and done?  Will you look back on your life with regrets?  What can you change now to make the most of your time? 

Read more: When God's Timing Is Taking Too Long